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Kindness goes a short distance...

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Jan. 16th, 2006 | 01:30 pm

This entry is dedicated to the art of apologizing. It may just be the hardest thing that most people will ever have to do in their lives. For some, it can be seen as a sign of defeat or an indication that they may in fact be WRONG. I had a very good conversation with a co-worker and informed her that I was having a mid-college life crisis. I am not happy with the person that I have become and the way I have come to treat people. Maybe while I slept last night, I became the tin man and actually got the heart. As I list all of the people that I need to apologize to, I will do so as if I am talking to them. Slighty less impersonal.

My apology goes out to Robbie. "Baker, this is beyond the metaphor of a broken record, but I am sorry about everything. I am especially sorry about the drunk dial you received from Sarah on Wednesday. We were both intoxicated and the reason I began to dial your number was you iming Adrienne. I am not quite sure what to make of that but it was very upsetting. It took me a while to deal with the situation that I created back in December and to make sense of what happened. To this day, I can honestly say you are the only guy that I have truly been attracted to because you have an intensely dynamic personality where you make everyone around you laugh and feel like theyve known you forever. You have the most amazing smile and facial features, as some fo the looks you cast are absolutely dashing. I hope you are happy with whomever your with and know that I think your the best. Thanks also for always making effort to be the best boyfriend a guy could have, your going to make someone extremely happy one day!"

Most people would wonder why I would care enough to write that apology especially because he may never even read it. Its because in life, you are either a person with heart who values the relationships you have with those around you or you are a closed person who hides behind a stone exterior, deterring people from opening up to you. I was becoming the latter and felt that it was time to go back to basics. Being nice, compassionate, understanding, genuine, non-judgmental and honest. At this point, I need to concentrate on what is important. Dating is not important, well not as important as say spending time with close friends and family. Not as important as being a good person and expecting that you meet someone who likes you just as you are. Not for who they want you to be or how you change to make them like you more. Right now I am not in a relationship and I have made sure that I am not working on anyone. I move away from UO in June and Im content waiting til then. Until then, hopefully Ill be able to move away from the crazy bar life and not be such a tool to others, regardless of their actions towards me.

Samantha: "Who gives a fuck. Be happy with who you are."

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